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<title>chef's kiss by side_stickie_note (lost_stickie_note)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24212506">chef's kiss</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_stickie_note/pseuds/side_stickie_note'>side_stickie_note (lost_stickie_note)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>tinysparks [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Crack, Fluff, Junmyeon's Birthday Week 2020, M/M, an attempt at comedy, chef!Junmyeon, human!Junmyeon, merman!Yifan, swimmer!Yifan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:27:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>992</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24212506</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_stickie_note/pseuds/side_stickie_note</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Junmyeon wants to turn him into sushi, but Yifan is already a snack.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Wu Yi Fan | Kris</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>tinysparks [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1734781</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Challenge #2 — Merfolk</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>chef's kiss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Literally wrote this fic because I wanted the summary sentence to exist. Please don't take this too seriously.</p><p>Special thanks to my dearest Emilia for the perfect fic title. 😘 And extra thanks and hugs to my lovely beta reader.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Junmyeon is seriously contemplating dropping the request altogether after about two weeks in of knowing Yifan. As the old saying goes: Don’t shit where you eat. The only thing stopping him from doing so is the enormous sum that his client is willing to pay for Junmyeon’s troubles, the number on the check nearly making him fall out of his seat when he first sees it, enough to pay off Junmyeon’s tuition for the next two years. Junmyeon is a procurement agent and gourmet chef with a specialty in magical creatures, which if you ask his friends is just a fancy way of saying he’s a monster hunter. Which, technically isn’t false. Junmyeon prefers to think of himself as a magic hunter though. After all, what he’s really doing upon capturing a magical creature is just draining a tiny bit of their magical properties, about a vial’s worth, in order to infuse in food catered for the ultra rich. Capturing being about the loosest sense of the word as most of them are happy to give up a bit of their magic for Junmyeon after he gives them a cut of the profits.</p><p>That is, until Yifan.</p><p>It takes Junmyeon quite a bit of time to track down a mermaid for the first time, or in Yifan’s case, a merman. His benefactor had requested one specifically in order to have Junmyeon create him a private meal of sushi, of which Junmyeon definitely sees the irony in, all things considered. Generally, people have asked for pixies, their pixie dust pairing well with cupcakes and cookies, or nymphs, their woodsy magic going particularly well with brownies. In fact, Junmyeon normally makes primarily sweets, very rarely creating anything on the savory side. But after a few weeks of research and running down rumors, Junmyeon finally finds someone of the merfolk variety on campus, ending up at the very spot he perhaps should have looked in the first place.</p><p>As Yifan is on the school swim team.</p><p>Junmyeon corners him after a swim meet, waiting until the crowd of admirers dies down, a long wait, before approaching. “Yifan, right? Word is that you have merfolk blood. Is that true?”</p><p>Yifan grins at him. “Depends on who’s asking.”</p><p>Junmyeon resists the urge to roll his eyes, flipping out his business card instead. “Kim Junmyeon. Procurement agent and gourmet chef. I have a proposition for you.”</p><p>Yifan takes one glance. “So what? You want to turn me into sushi?”</p><p>“Well, not exactly. It’s really your <em>magic </em>I’m after, and I would be infusing it into food.” Junmyeon flounders at the pointed look Yifan gives him.</p><p>“Thanks, but no thanks.” Yifan scrunches up his nose. “I’d rather not be someone else’s dinner.” A pause. “Unless it’s yours.” Junmyeon takes so long to process Yifan winking at him salaciously that the other boy has already disappeared into the locker rooms when he thinks of a response.</p><p>The second time Junmyeon tries is after one of Yifan’s swim practices. He camps out on the bleachers, feeling slightly out of place considering the only other people there apparently are Yifan’s personal fanclub, cheering each time Yifan gets out of the pool. Junmyeon doesn’t get the appeal at all – he admits Yifan’s face is pretty handsome with a nice smile, maybe nice shoulders from swimming and okay, he has a nice calves too. Junmyeon does imagine what Yifan would look like with his tail, once or twice perhaps. But other than that, Junmyeon doesn’t get it at all.</p><p>Yifan is just as evasive this time, though Junmyeon does manage to keep his attention for longer than two minutes, which he considers a win. “So how does you taking some of my magic even work?”</p><p>“Well, I’d basically be drawing your blood. Just one vial.”</p><p>“Are you even licensed to do that?”</p><p>Junmyeon responds defensively. “I got my phlebotomy license. I’m perfectly capable.”</p><p>Yifan arches his eyebrow at Junmyeon, skeptical. “How do I know you’re not just a vampire after a quick taste of merman?” The grin spreads across Yifan’s face, the other boy clearly delighted. “Though I guess I wouldn’t mind if you bit my neck.” Junmyeon feels the heat rising in his cheeks as Yifan tilts his head attractively, exposing his neck. “I’m not a vampire, I’m human.”</p><p>“Okay, whatever you say, Junmyeon.” Yifan drags his name out playfully, winking. “But the answer is still no today. Magic 8 ball says to try again next time.”</p><p>Junmyeon really wishes Yifan would stop winking at him.</p><p>The third time Junmyeon catches Yifan coming out from the locker rooms after another swim meet. Not that Junmyeon is interested, but Yifan does look quite cool winning his sprint, ranking second overall. He briefly wonders whether it’s due to Yifan’s merman blood that he has a competitive edge and whether he’d swim faster with his tail. Yifan, to Junmyeon’s surprise, looks happy to see him.</p><p>“Come to ask for some of my blood again?” Yifan shakes his head slightly, wet hair flicking drops of water everywhere. “Kinda disappointing that you never want to ask me about anything else.”</p><p>Junmyeon blurts it out before he can stop himself. “Actually, I was wondering what your tail looks like.”</p><p>Yifan looks at him with surprise, speechless for once, recovering after a few moments. “It’s only our third time speaking, and you already want me to put out?” Yifan winks, and the flush crawls up the back of Junmyeon’s neck. “Shouldn’t we go on a date at least first?”</p><p>The statement make Junmyeon suspicious. “Do you mean that?”</p><p>“Mean what?”</p><p>“The date.” A pause. “You’ll let me have a look at your tail and some of your magic if we go on a date.”</p><p>“Maybe.”</p><p>Junmyeon winks back, enjoying the dumbfounded look being on Yifan’s face for once. “A date it is then.” A light laugh. “I’ll pick you up at 8 on Friday?”</p><p>Oh, how the tables have turned.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>🍣 -noms-</p><p>Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/sidestickienote">@sidestickienote</a><br/>CuriousCat: <a href="https://curiouscat.qa/sidestickienote">@sidestickienote</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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